He is, after all, the reason behind all of this madness.
Change, for all that’s been said about it being good…and needful, can be so difficult to follow through with…arg.
I’ve never really known it until now, but (for what it’s worth) it is hard to start all over. It is the most unnatural thing in the world.
And I just have to say that I SO love you, all my most dearly beloved loved ones in Chile, you know who you are : ), and I desperately miss you so very much!
You’ve been a part of me for so long that it was strange to have to say good-bye. I didn’t entirely realize how much you mean to me, until I actually left you all behind…as Brian Adams so nicely put it: Baby when you’re gone, I realize I’m in love…well…you know
It goes like this: You’re totally buzzed about facing your “uncharted seas”…you fly away…you land…and then, shortly after all the stress and travel rush…you inevitably arrive at this place, in the far corners of your mind, where you, in fact, hate yourself, and demand to know why all this was necessary in the first place.
All the gloriousness in leaving wears off quickly, and then begins this fight…against yourself…and yourself painfully kicks at you for throwing all of that warm, fuzzy, homey comfort away…awful self!
So you’re forced to recall that feeling in your heart, when He distinctively called, and somehow—unexplainably and involuntarily—you just had to go.
He is the one pulling in directions that no one else can see, feel—or even understand, and He doesn’t gauge your obedience by how your dedication is looking to everyone else, but by how quickly you respond to His spirit, no matter what it says to do.
PRO.16:2 The ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the LORD weigheth the spirit.
Amen.
…but it’s still so hard to let go!
It’s so uncomfortable, in fact, that it literarily forces you to enter the realm of faith—where you belong in the first place—and there, in the midst your terrible heartbreak, something much bigger and grander takes over. You remember at once what you’re here for, and you realize that nothing else matters quite as much as fulfilling that call.
So you shed your share of tears, and then you gain something that wasn’t there before; something that brings you a brand new feeling of excitement and satisfaction. You get the feeling that you have just opened the doors to limitless possibilities.
It’s strangely nice and refreshing.
So, my conclusion, after all of this is…firstly that you’re all apspolutely wonderful! And I miss you! And I LOVE YOU so dearly!
…and the future is as bright as the promises of God!!!
(Beyond my dramatic moment…I’m really so happy to be here! Everyone has been so welcoming, and I’m looking forward to finding my place in the Home! Yey!)
Let your goals consume you, so they become more important than any temporary pain of today.
